This post may contain affiliate links
Self-Love Makes A Better Mom
by Bianca Birgit | Blogger
Mommy burnout is a real thing, except you don’t really have the luxury of crashing and burning, we’ve got to keep on keeping on. We juggle everyone else’s needs like a plate spinning competition, while inside, we’re secretly hoping for a planetary pause, just so we can catch an extra 20 minutes sleep and brush our hair.
Ok, it’s not always that bad… but we REALLY need to start finding a balance between what WE need, and what everyone else needs from us. Tipping the scales in your favor does not need to be an earth-shattering event, we’re talking a little here and a little here, just like taming an overtired toddler.
Heres a list of basic, but practical, self-love tools that we can work into our everyday routines to help make a difference in how we respond to the responsibilities of motherhood.
1 | You Deserve It
Firstly, you need to realize that you are ALLOWED to indulge in self-love. Too many moms neglect their own needs for so long that the family forgets mom even has any. We become feeding machines that serve everyone, while we’re starving a little on the inside.
Before you can do anything else, you (and your family) need to realize that in order to preserve your sanity; there are times that you have to put yourself first. The catch is… you have to do this completely guilt free! It may seem hard at first, but as soon as everyone realizes you are a person with needs and not just an errand lady, they’ll get on-board and help you find moments for yourself.
2 | Make The Time
This gets me to the second point… MAKE TIME. You’re trying to break a bad habit here. You’ll be tempted to quickly pack a school lunch or rush putting on makeup just to keep the family’s wheels rolling. STOP! You need to force yourself to take a time-out and do something just for you.
Get a sitter for a date night or drop the kids off at the grandparents. While the kids are at school, take advantage of the morning to do what you’ve got to do for you. The lists can wait until tomorrow.
3 | Turn Your Bedroom into a Hotel Suite
Without checking into an actual hotel, with some simple tips and tricks, to turn your bedroom into what looks and feels like an upmarket hotel room. Crisp clean sheets, matching colors and a striking mirror can momentarily fool our brains into believing we have escaped to the Ritz-Carlton for the night.
Your bedroom should become a haven, away from the noise and clutter of “mom life”, where you can enjoy a space dedicated solely to feel pampered.
4 | Long Leisurely Baths
If you’re in-and-out of the bath like a cyclone, just so you can get “back to work”, start by adding 10 minutes to your soak time. Top up the hot water and use this time to daydream about nothing else but your innermost thoughts.
Remember, the dreams you had before you became family property? If it’s traveling to faraway lands, close your eyes and drift away as you hear the ambient sounds of those magical streets and smell the exotic flavors. By the way, there’s a “no knocking on the door policy” while mommy is in the bath, period.
5 | Gratitude
Reflect on the things you have to be grateful for. Even when you’re overwhelmed by all that you have to juggle, you are an integral part of the lives of the little humans you have created. The kids may be driving you half mad this week, but they make you laugh harder than any comedy show. The weather is beautiful and your orchid just flowered. Look around and spot all those little gifts that are given to you daily.
6 | Buy Yourself Something Nice
This little spoil is not about diamonds and fancy cars, it’s about little treats you can add to a grocery list that makes you feel treated. Buy flowers, pick up that perfect sweet sensation at that chocolatier, or buy a candle to burn or a book to read while you soak in the bath.
7 | Caring is in the Details
You’re used to throwing on the most practical outfit for mommy duty and you’ve stopped wearing anything more than a ponytail in your hair. Remember jewelry? Its become little more than a safety hazard, especially necklaces that could snag on a feral child as it darts past you at breakneck speeds.
Well, it’s time to start looking at some child-safe options that make you feel beautiful. A precious symbol of womanhood. Even the smallest piece of jewelry can make you feel less like a frayed wire and a little shinier inside and out.
Find something precious to you and commit yourself to wearing it, despite the pandemonium going on around you.
8 | Sleep More
The importance of sleep cannot be overstated. It’s the perfect time for your body and mind to heal. And is one of the more neglected aspects of being a mom. If your nerves are raw and your mind is foggy, sleep is one of the first things you need to fix.
We go through about 6 sleep cycles each night and reaching the level of “deep sleep” is vital for mental and physical regeneration. Disruption of a sleep cycle usually means you have to start over. And you can lose up to an hour of “deep sleep” from a mistimed interruption.
Of course, this can be very difficult, especially for moms with younger children. If you can’t get an uninterrupted eight hours each night, you’ll need to become the master of power naps. They don’t work quite as well, but a good 1-hour crash here and there might be just what you need to feel like yourself again.
9 | Good Friends
Take a moment to list who’s important to you outside the family circle… your friends. At different stages of our lives, circumstances change the dynamics of relationships. When you’re always putting family first, friendships can fall into a state of hibernation. It’s time to wake those sleeping bears. A coffee or a lunch with an old friend makes the world of difference. Just hearing about their lives gives us perspective on our own. And a little venting can clear out buckets of frustration.
Studies show that endorphins released when spending time with great friends can boost brain activity and vitality. Make contact (and we’re talking REAL contact, not just a Facebook wave) with at least one close friend every week or two, you’ll always leave feeling loved and recharged.
10 | Create
Gardening, sewing, painting or dancing, as long as it’s fun for you, and it makes you happy, its self-love. Make sure you allocate an adequate amount of time to the task, so you can indulge without interruptions.
Get Started With Self-Love
Parenting, while it can be challenging and strenuous, it’s certainly one of the most rewarding jobs anyone can have. However, we often become so wrapped up in the position of running a family unit, that we forget we are individual too. Moms, especially, find themselves caught up in the whirlwind of tasks. And find themselves sacrificing so much of themselves that they lose touch with who they are.
The thing is, if we want to be better moms, we first have to be better, happier people. And the only way to be more loving and caring is to first love and care for yourself.
The nice thing about it is, when you are overwhelmed and overworked, a little self-love goes a long way. However small or fleeting, it makes the world of difference. And you’ll know the extent of the transformation when you apply it in your day-to-day routine.
Guest Blogger Spotlight
A NOTE FROM BIANCA
About Me: As a work-from-home mom to an energetic and lovable 8-year-old, I am all too familiar with the demands of running a home, getting work done and being a great-ish (I have my moments) wife and mother.
I appreciate moms who share their experiences; not just to learn from, but to share the reality of life and parenting. I hope to do the same; so I can contribute to a community that cares for and better understands each other. This makes the journey so much easier and so much more fun.
For more on self-love, please visit Bianca at Well Worth Living!
Don’t forget to check out all of my favorite things on my recommendations pages for the best things to make your life easier whether it’s parenting, budgeting, family living or blog related. Thanks again for visiting…I hope to see you again!!
LIKE IT? PIN IT!
DID THIS HELP?
Let me know in the comments below!